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# Am i worthy
- URL: https://antoniopereiradesign.tech/am-i-worthy/
- Published: 2026-10-13T19:30:50.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-13T19:39:55.000Z
- Author: Antonio Pereira
- Tags: Life

I don't know why, but my life seems to have taken a turn for the worse. I was in the hospital for a month, and now that I'm back, it feels like everything has been turned upside down.

My parents, especially my father, are trying to help me find a job. I never had a very good relationship with him. Things seem to be better when I'm working, because that's when he seems to see my potential and my value. When I'm not working, though, it feels like he doesn't see the same potential in me, especially when there's no money coming in.

He also compares me to one of my friends who has a job. Out of all my friends, he seems to think that this friend is the only one who's actually "doing something with his life" simply because he's working. It doesn't seem to matter that I have better grades than him, or that another one of my friends is already at university. Sometimes I feel like, to my father, studying doesn't really lead to anything unless it eventually turns into a job and money.

And the funny thing is that he expects me to do everything at the same time. I'm supposed to take care of things around the house, help him with his business, pick up my sister, and look for a job, all at once. How am I supposed to have time for all of that? And somehow, I'm still expected to figure out my future and go to university on top of everything else.

Sometimes I wonder if I was just born to work. I want to go to university, but I have to pay for everything myself, just like I did with my web design course. I want to build a future for myself, but right now it feels like I'm being pushed toward working instead of studying.